First of all, there was ice cream, and if you know me at all, you know I love ice cream almost as I love cake. Mmmmmm, cake…wait, what were we talking about? Right, bras and cows, focus… Anyway, aside from ice cream there was champagne. And it was good. And they put furry little raspberries in the glasses. AND I still drank it! (Yes, I have issues with fruit that has hair, and?)
Any-who, after they got all of ladies sweet creamed and liquored up, they buzzed us when it was our turn to go upstairs…to the VIP section, or as I called it – Bra Heaven. It was awesome to see so many women come in to see if they indeed wore the correct bra size. I for one was glad to be there as I am not a fan of the horrid 4-breasted woman. You’ve seen her, she has on a tight bra under a tight shirt and it looks like she has 4 boobs and you wonder if she is some odd mutation of a woman; then you remember they did bring back the tv show ‘V’ and you think maybe, just maybe, they walk among us.
Ok, maybe you won’t think that, but I do whenever I see a quadra-boobed woman. So if we are friends, you know out there away from cyberspace, and you are guilty of this crime, know that I am fully prepared to turn you in to Area 51. I probably already have. Do me a favor and answer the phone the next time its an unknown caller, k?
Did I mention that THE Veronica Webb was there? No? Well she was, and while I did not see her personally, I know someone who did and they confirmed she is as fabulous as she looks.
In case you were wondering, I wear the correct size bra. Yay me!!! But that’s not the best part……wait for it, wait for it……not only can I get the next size up (I won’t go into graphic detail about how I am able to accomplish this wondrous feat), I get a free bra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (happy dancing) Now technically every woman who attended gets a free bra, but since this is my post on my blog, it really is all about me. 🙂
So with all that being said…..Skinny Cow, WHERE’S MY BRA? How much longer must I suffer in these inferior bras whilst you hold hostage my super comfy ONE SIZE BIGGER bra?
Hmph, I guess I will need to stalk the mail lady and make sure she hasn’t abducted my new bra. Unless of course she is quadra-boobed, because in that instance, she can have it. 🙂